How’s everyone doing? I know it’s been a hot minute since I have been active on here. Let’s just say I really thought blogging wasn’t for me, until I recently started to journal that I realized I have so much to share and say to my blogging community. I know the past two months have been a whirlwind of mixed emotions from feeling super motivated to feeling really down on myself and everything else going on. However, I am doing my best to utilize this time to better myself and help the people in my life get through these times in isolation and post-isolation. One thing that I have always enjoyed doing is a recap of a few things I have learned in the past and today I thought, why not share some of the key points I have learned this past decade that have really helped me change the way I live my life for the better. I hope these 10 things spark something inside of you to live your best life with unconditional love, kindness, and determination!
- Create relationships with people who unconditionally love, understand, and support YOU. This may sound so cliche, but sometimes I feel like we forget to surround ourselves with genuine, good people who aren’t afraid to be 100% honest with us and they understand how we want and need to be treated. We need human connections to thrive in all aspects of life, so we need to make sure we have the right people through thick and thin.
- Forgiveness is harder than I thought and it’s more than a simple apology. I was convinced that someone apologizing for their hurtful words and/or actions would help me forgive them and move forward quicker. However, when I really started to self reflect, I realized that I haven’t fully forgiven certain people in my life and due to that I subconsciously couldn’t create a deeper connection with them. To fully forgive someone can take days, months, or even years to not have any ill feelings toward the people who have hurt you. I will admit that I am still struggling with this, however, I have learned to create a Forgiveness List of everyone who have mentally, emotionally, and physically hurt me in the past and working on forgiving each person one at a time. We all forgive differently and I am here to assure you that it’s okay to realize that you haven’t fully forgive someone. Allow yourself to process everything and one day you’ll be able to move on without ever having to feel hurt by that person anymore.
- People don’t change, they just become more aware. I heard this phrase from my sister a few weeks back and to be honest, I disagreed with her right away because I felt like I have changed and I was so proud of myself. However, as days and weeks gone by, I finally came to the realization that she was right. In a way, we will always have a part of us that is hard to change or can’t be changed, but because we are willing to be better for ourselves and the people around us, it creates this self-awareness shield to catch us every time we are thinking, doing, and feeling a certain way.
- Stop blaming other people for your own choices/decisions. I grew up in a household and lifestyle where I was use to blame people for making decisions for me. I became dependent on them and it caused a great amount of resentment and anger. Whenever I felt that I didn’t receive the results that I wanted, I would blame the person who told me what to do. It wasn’t until I was sitting on the other end of the table where I started to make decisions for other people and it backed fire. This made me realized that the more we blame people for our own choices/decisions the more it steers us away from true happiness and ownership of our own lives. When I stopped blaming other people, and started to take control of my life, that was where I learned the most about myself and created a life that I was proud of. I had no one to blame, which made my relationships with family and friends healthier. Also, the negative energy started to dissipate and I can finally start to focus on what was good in my life.
- Bottling up your feelings and emotions is the worst thing you can do for your mental health. Coming from someone who held in her true feelings for 26 years, it was the best feeling to let everything out slowly to the right people. I remember telling my girlfriends that the reason I couldn’t journal in the past was because I didn’t know what to write about since I didn’t allow myself to feel my emotions. Now that I’m not afraid to cry, speak my mind, and show how frustrated I am, I feel a sense of relief that I’ve never felt before. The more you share and talk about your feelings, the more you will become aware of how to really live your life for you. If you keep your true self bottled up and hidden from yourself and the people around you, you will never get a chance to really meet the real you.
- Treat people the way they want to be treated. A wise quote from my mom! This really put my past, current, and future relationships into perspective. I have always treated people the way I wanted to be treated and to be honest when they didn’t treat me the way I wanted to be treated, I was quite upset and expected the same respect in return. I started to feel a certain kind of way towards people and it created distance and unnecessary anger. The day my mom shared that phrase, a light bulb switch moment happened. It made me realize that everyone is different and we all give and receive differently. It was unfair of me to put my personal expectations on the people in my life. Ever since I lowered my expectations and don’t expect anything in return, it has put my mind more at peace and helped me do and say things with more unconditional love.
- You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness. I use to put a great amount of pressure on myself to be that person who brought happiness to other people. It became a draining task and caused me my own happiness. It’s so important to create boundaries between your happiness vs. other people’s happiness, practice makes progress.
- It’s not when you finish but how you finish. When it came to my grad program I made sure to not only to shoot for straight A’s but to also really learn the material and apply the knowledge I was consuming. Yes, getting all A’s is great but if you aren’t really learning the material, then in a way you wasted your time and money. Everything you do, finish knowing that you put 100% of yourself in it!
- Life hurts us all in different ways, but it is how we respond — and who we become — that determines whether a trauma becomes a tragedy, or the beginning of the story of how the victim became the hero. I found this quote on Facebook last year and it really hit me hard. It made me realize how I was able to overcome all the obstacles in my life without becoming the victim. How we react and the decisions we make is what helps us get through life. You are in charge of your own narrative.
- You are not interacting with reality instead you are interacting with your brains version of reality. We all experience and feel the same situations differently. We need to understand and be empathetic to one another because everyone’s feelings and thoughts are validated. I really dislike the word “sensitive”. I don’t think anyone is ever sensitive. I feel we all have experienced different forms of life that there is a reason why we get emotional or triggered by certain words and actions.
Thank you for reading today’s post! Stay safe and Have a Wonderful Day!